Thim Thim Ta Pa

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this is a story by chowmein_jpg’s old account. it’s being rewritten! i’ll leave the story link once it’s up! ^^

Analysis

Title – 5/5

Description & Foreword – 20/20

Appearance – 10/10

Plot – 18/20

Flow – 9/10

Writing Style – 14/15

Spelling, Grammar, Punctuation – 19/20

Overall – 95/100

So, first of all, I crossed off D&F , and Appearance because its not posted yet. I’m sure you’ll end up getting a layout, poster, and so on.

  • Title 5/5

The title is cute. Since the story is about Sehun’s lisp and Shindong making fun of it, I guess its just the most adequate title. ❤

  • Plot 18/20

The plot wasn’t clear to me at first, but then again, the title made sense. hehe.

  • Flow 9/10

It wasn’t too slow this time. I like the pace ; Ivy unnie improved on her flow  /*claps*/

  • Writing Style 14/15

You switched POV’s at unnecessary times. This could end up confusing a reader. Try to switch when an important part happens where more than one characters’ reaction is needed.

 

[ #RainPost ; Since Oh My Gukkie, my original request shop is closed atm, I’ll just leave my reviews here until I get a confirmation from a shop. ]

 

K-Drama List

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These are all the dramas I have to finish re-watching. 

  • Orpheus / Shark [ 3 ]
  • Bad Boy [ 2 ]
  • Love Rain [ 11 ]
  • Who Are You [ 8 ]
  • Cinderella’s Sister [ 10 ]
  • Cyrano [ 6 ]
  • Wild Romance [ 3 ]
  • Can We Get Married [ 9 ]
  • Kimchi Family
  • Good Doctor

Taeyeon – Bye (Mr.Go OST) Chinese | Pinyin | English

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I’m not fluent in Chinese/Mandarin ; this is just some ‘practice’ I guess…

Chinese | Pinyin | English

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kan ni , de yan jing ni xiao de hen tian

(  看 你 ,的 眼 睛 你 笑 得 很 甜 )

Looking at your eyes,smiling so sweetly

hui hui shou wei xiao zhe shuo zai jian

( 揮 揮手 微笑着 說 再見 )

Smiling while waving goodbye

ceng jing wo yi wei ni shi quan shi ije

( 曾經 我 以 為 你 是 全 世界 )

I used to believe that you were the whole world

ke xi ni wo bu zhi zhe shi jian

( 可 惜 你 我 不知着 世間 )

But it’s a pity that we didn’t know how the world looks

na pa yi tian zai wo xin li ni mei li kai yong yuan cun zai

( 哪怕 一天 在 我 心、裡 你 没 離開 永遠 存在 )

In my heart, you’ve never left for a single day, you’ll always be there

zai jian wo de ai zhi yao ni neng xing fu zhe

( 再見 我 的 愛 只要 你 能 幸 福着 )

Goodbye my love, as long as you’re in happiness

wo hui dui ni xiao de hen tian wang diao dui ni de xiang nian

( 我 會 對 你 笑 得 很 甜 忘掉 对 你 的 想念 )

I’ll smile sweetly at you, and forget my longings for you

zai jian wo de ai wo hai zai deng dai

( 再見 我 的 愛 我 还 在 等待 )

Goodbye my love,  I’m still waiting

deng dai zhe hua kai de shi jian

( 等待 着花开 的世間 )

Waiting for the time when flowers bloom

qing ni xing fu yong yuan

( 请你 幸福永远 )

Please be happy always

hao bu rong yi kan zhe ni ,xiao zhe dui ni shuo chu le zai jian

( 好不容易 看着你 ,笑着 对你说出了 再见 )

It wasn’t easy to look at you,to smile at you while saying goodbye

ni rang ren sheng gai bian

( 你让人生改变  )

You changed my life

you yi tian zai jian ni bie zou de tai yuan hao ma?

( 有一天再见你 别走得太远 好吗? )

When we meet again one day, don’t go too far away, okay?

ni zhi dao ma?

( 你知道吗 ?)

Did you know?

zai jian wo de ai zhi yao ni neng xing fu zhe

( 再见 我的爱 , 只要你能幸福着 )

Goodbye my love, as long as you’re in happiness

wo hui dui ni xiao de hen tian , wang diao dui ni de xiang nian

( 我会对你笑得很甜 , 忘掉对你的想念 )

I’ll smile sweetly for you, and forget my longings for you

zai jian wo de ai , wo hai zai deng dai , deng dai zhe hua kai de

( 再见 我的爱 , 我还在等待 , 等待着 花开的 )

Goodbye my love, I’m still waiting, waiting for flowers to bloom

Oh zai jian wo de ai , zhi yao ni neng xing fu zhe

( Oh 再见 我的爱 , 只要你能幸福着 )

Goodbye my love, as long as you’re in happiness

wo hui dui ni xiao de hen tian , wang diao dui ni de ai lian

( 我会对你笑得很甜 , 忘掉对你的爱恋 )

I’ll smile sweetly at you, and forget my love for you

zai jian wo de ai , wo hai zai deng dai

( 我还在等待 )

Goodbye my love, I’m still waiting

deng zhe zai jian mian de na tian

( 等着再见面的 那天 )

Waiting for the day we meet again